Dis-Gracepoint Berkeley: June 2008

Demotivator Caption Contest

Hello everyone,

The picture below (submitted by Johnny Yang) is in need of a demotivator caption. It's a picture of a particular brother who was supposed to babysit and put the child to sleep.

Disgracepoint will not post anything for a few days, in order to highlight this contest. Please provide your captions in the comments.

Inaugural Shot in Sierra Lodge

This is our very first inaugural basketball shot in Sierra Lodge, shortly after putting up the hoops. Pastor Ed Kang challenged Pastor Manny to a 1-on-1 match to see who would get the glory of having made the very first shot. The following is the first of many memories that will be made in that court in Sierra Lodge.

Normal vs. Ken & Carmen

English Lesson: Importance of the Article "a"

Setting: Friday night midnight, coming out of Albany Bowling Alley (not the best place to be at midnight). One of the brothers start running in the parking lot toward my car, shouting:

"I got a shotgun! I got a shotgun!"

It's amazing how a single letter can be the difference between life and death.

How Did You Know?

Setting: Elise (3-years-old) riding in the backseat of the car I was driving, suddenly I realize she's chewing on something, when I didn't give her anything to eat.

Daniel: Elise! What are you eating?

Elise: Nothing.

Daniel: Tell me, Elise. What are you eating??

Elise: Nothing!

[pause]

Daniel: (nicely) Okay, but what does it taste like?

Elise: (thinking that this is a safe question to answer) Like booger..

Daniel: Oh sick! Elise! Are you eating your booger??

Elise: Yeah... ("How did you know?")

Gracepoint Darth Dorks

When we first came up with this idea a decade ago for our emcee act, Richard and I thought that this was the funniest idea that we've ever had. But when we saw ourselves in video, we realized that this is probably the stupidest thing we've ever done.. (and that's a pretty difficult standard).

Story: Pastor Jonathan of Waypoint almost died watching this video. He was alone in his home when he first watched this, and he started to laugh and got an asthma attack. He couldn't stop laughing, but he started to run out of oxygen, so he crawled to his inhaler and barely got the medication on time. He reportedly thought to himself as he was crawling desperately to the inhaler, "this would be a very bad way to go for a pastor." Indeed, that would not have been a very God-honoring way to die.

Another story: We filmed this at Pacifica Beach.. It looks so empty, because when we arrived there with our costumes on, the people who were there moved to another place without us asking them to. That was very nice of them.

Announcement: Publish Days

Hello Dis-Gracepoint People who actually check this site every day

As many of you may have noticed, the posts on Disgracepoint have been lined up and are automated to be published daily at 5pm, PST. I was originally proud of myself for doing this, because that means I don't have to do anything for a long time.
But then I realized that when August comes (which is when the posts start running out), then I will have to work hard again and collect new stories to keep this site alive. And that thought caused my laziness to extend itself into the future, and I thought, "I don't want to work in August, either." Some have said that laziness/procrastination is a vice that only knows of the present moment. Well, I proved them wrong.

So that means that I need to maximize the stories that are lined up right now, and the laziest way to do that is to publish the posts every OTHER day instead of daily. And that's exactly what's going to happen.

Instead of daily publishing, I will be publishing things every other day (and sometimes, depending on whether or not I want feedback, I will give it a few days so that it doesn't just get pushed down the page so quickly)

Thank you for your patronage of disgracepoint. Please keep the new stories and comments flowing!

English Lesson: Improper Proper Nouns

Setting: Sister J and Pastor William Kang's family (with Caleb, who was 5 years old then) is coming out of the movie theatre, after having watched Toy Story.

Sister J: Hey Caleb, did you like that movie?

Caleb: Yeah.

Sister J: Yeah? Did you like Bud Light?

That the World May Know -- John Really Cares

The original "That the World May Know" video that started the series... Which became an instant Gracepoint classic.
These are all based on true stories. Some might even argue that they are exactly true stories.

Mist at the Pulpit

Only preachers and teachers can understand this. But some have asked, "if there's a fog at the pulpit, then what?"

Communication

People who have this language barrier is often found saying, "Oh, you know what I mean."

Klingons

emcee act from long ago

Beware of Health Club "Free Trials"

This is a true story of a particular brother E who, upon receiving a month-long "free trial" coupon, went into the health club intending to just get one month of free usage.

But as this brother will testify, it's not that easy.

One day, a huge, 225 lb staff member of the health club with arms the size of brother E's waistline approached brother E and asked if he can come inside his office.

"What's your health worth to you?" asked the huge guy - a rather typical starter for these buff salesmen.

"It's... um... important," said brother E.

"How important is it? Is it important enough to spend just 1 dollar a day?" asked the huge guy.

Knowing where this is going, brother E tried to avoid these questions, and just kept on saying that he just wants to try it out for 1 month and see. This persistence of brother E seemed to be wearing the huge guy down, because he started to use level 2 tactics.

"Okay, let's just be frank here," said the huge guy, "if you are just here for the free trial thing, then if you need me to spot you or something, then I'm not gonna be motivated to do anything for you, because I wanna take care of my paid customers, you know what I'm sayin'?"

"That's okay, I'm okay with that," said brother E with a smile.

It is said that that particular smile is what really compelled the huge guy to skip over level 3 and 4 and go right into level 5 tactics...

The huge guy suddenly got quiet and stared into E's eyes. Then with all seriousness, he said, "Take a look at your arms right now... Go ahead.. Take a look."

Brother E didn't know where this was going, but not knowing how to refuse such a simple request, he made the mistake of looking at his own arms.

"Do you want those arms for the rest of your life?" the huge man asked.

Next thing brother E remembers is signing the 2-year contract for $800. After that incident, brother E recounts going there only 2 more times, which makes each visit calculate out to be $400 each.

Wonder

This demotivator is based on what Pastor Ed Kang and Kelly Kang often talk about - the ridiculousness of playing Gameboy in front of Grand Canyon or Yosemite.

Sierra Lodge Stories

Setting: Sister J and her friends came to Sierra Lodge to volunteer their work, and the foreman gave them the job of staining the deck.

Foreman: Okay, get the bucket, and just brush the stain on the underside of the deck. Do NOT stain the other parts. Just the underside, where people can't see it. The other visible parts have to be stained with a different color.

J: Okay.

[30 minutes later]

J: Ummm... I'm sorry. But I accidentally stained the outside. Can we undo the stain or cover it up with the right color stain?

Foreman: (sigh) No, you can't undo stains, and we can't cover it.

J: Sorry.

Foreman: Well, that's okay. There's another deck around the corner. Do the same thing. Just stain the underside. And do NOT stain the visible parts.

J: Got it!

Foreman: You sure?

J: (laughing) Don't worry!!

[30 minutes later]

J: Ummm... we did it again.

Normal vs. Pastor William

A video that was played at the ordination service of Pastor William, held at Pauley Ballroom, Berkeley. These impersonations of William and Esther are so close to the truth that they are scary. Gracepoint church congratulates William and Esther in our own unique way...

Wash Your Hands with Water, Please

Setting: After staining the deck of Sierra Lodge, a bunch of sisters who were peer groups with sister M were pretty tired and ready to wash up and go home.

Foreman: Great job on the staining. You can wash your hands, and make sure that you wash the rags thoroughly, because they can spontaneously combust.

M: Okay!

[2 minutes later]

M: Umm.. we're having problems with the water... We turn it on, but water's not coming out.

Foreman: Uh.. that's the propane gas valve.

Murphy's Law

Normal vs. Pengs

A tribute to Eugene and Cynthia, who are ministering to Taiwanese students in Hsinchu through our Hsinchu ministry.

p.s.: Eugene's nickname among the directors is "hecka hakka". It's because he's heck of a Hakka (a subgroup of Chinese/Taiwanese)

Geometry Lesson

While building Sierra Lodge, a particular brother was given the task of cutting rectangular holes into the floor so that we can have heater vents on the floor. Tim Fitz came back to find this hole as pictured.

Note the fact that the hole is not parallel to the wall, and the fact that they used a piece of plywood to try to make the HVAC metal boot fit into the trapezoidal hole. Tim looked at this hole and sarcastically said, "Umm... you know that you're supposed to cut straight lines, right?"

To which, the unnamed brother replied, "Oh, really?"

The Official Drink of Gracepoint Video Team

This caption is not all that funny... any suggestions for an alternative caption?

Need for Calcium

Setting: Brother J goes into Jamba Juice

J: Umm... I usually add calcium to my drink, but I don't see that option anymore...

Cashier: Yeah, we no longer have that option.. But we do have extra calcium in the "Fem Boost" option.