Humor site for Gracepoint Berkeley Church and church plants at Davis, Austin, Minneapolis, San Diego, Riverside, Hsinchu, Los Angeles, Irvine, Santa Barbara, Seattle... Because we know that laughter is the best medicine, right after Chinese herbal medicine and acupuncture and Western medicine.
To Feel Young Again...
Pastor Manny, who is in Austin, has been a source of much laughter and joy. We miss him dearly, especially Gracepoint Berkeley, Koinonia, Directors, and Disgracepoint.
Love and Marriage: Green Onions
Jessica: Thanks for doing the shopping for tonight's dinner.
James: No problem.
Jessica: (looks in the bag) Is this everything?
James: Yea.
Jessica: But I only see 1 bunch of green onions, I asked for 6.
James: Your shopping list said 6 green onions, so I bought 6 green onions.
Jessica: I meant 6 BUNCHES of green onions.
James: But your shopping list didn't say bunches. It just said 6 green onions. All the other items on the list you specified 1 pack, 2 bags, so how was I supposed to know that you meant bunches?
Jessica: Because the grocery stores sell them by the bunch. 3 bunches for 99 cents. It should be obvious.
James: Well, you should have been more specific. I was just following the list you gave me.
Jessica: (looks at the green onions) So you happened to buy the bunch that contained 6 green onions?
James: No, that bunch contained a few more, so I took those out and just bought these.
Jessica: (long silence)
James: I'll go to Safeway right now and buy the rest.
Demotivator Caption Contest
Thankfully, we didn't actually carry through with this plan... What would be a good demotivator caption for this picture?
Maybe something to do with "SAFETY" or "MISTAKE" or "HOPE" or "FUTILITY"
Love and Marriage: Where Should We Eat?
Daniel: Where should we go eat?
Sarah: Anywhere.
Daniel: No, come on... I know you. You wanna have Korean, Mexican or Vietnamese. Where should we go?
Sarah: Anywhere!
Daniel: Anywhere? Really?
Sarah: Yes! Anywhere's fine.
Daniel: Okay, Nations.
Sarah: Oh sick!!
Daniel: (pause) How about La Pinata?
Sarah: I just had Mexican food yesterday.
Daniel: Where do you want to go, then?
Sarah: Anywhere!
Daniel: Fine, Vietnamese. Le Chavel!
Sarah: Too far.
Daniel: Spaghetti Factory?
Sarah: Oh gross!!
Daniel: What does it mean for you to say "anywhere," when whatever I suggest, you are going to reject? You don't mean anywhere!
Sarah: But Daniel, you're intentionally choosing the places that I don't like!
Daniel: (silence)
Sarah: (silence)
Daniel: Koryo?
Sarah: (pause) Okay
Daniel: See?? I knew it! You only wanna go there! I knew it!
Sarah: If you knew it, then why didn't you just go there in the first place?
Daniel: (silence) sigh
Love and Marriage: The Dreaded Question
Brother W: The question that I dread the most is when my wife asks me, "Why did you do that??" I mean... if I knew why I did it, then I wouldn't have done it.
Normal vs. Ben & Helen
English Patient: Doors
"Who locked the doors out? Who? Who?"
-- Brother JN, trying to say: "who let the dogs out?"
Love and Marriage: Rice Pot
This is a new genre of Disgracepoint submissions that I would like to start. Here's the first submission: a conversation between me and my wife long ago.. Married couples, please submit your stories (yours can be anonymous, if you wanna be that way about it)
Sarah: I'm going to throw away our rice pot. We should buy a new one.
Daniel: Why?
Sarah: Because it's broken.
Daniel: (incredulous) What do you mean, it's broken?
Sarah: The lid doesn't close anymore.
Daniel: It closes if you slam on it a little.
Sarah: No, not anymore. It doesn't close anymore, even if you slam on it.
Daniel: So you're gonna throw the whole thing away because the lid doesn't close?? I can fix that! It's just the latch! I'll just fix it!
Sarah: If you can fix it, then why didn't you fix it before?
Daniel: (silence)
Sarah: (silence)
Daniel: Why don't YOU fix it?!!?
Sarah: I don't know how!!
Daniel: It's not a matter of knowing how! It must be just a bent latch! You just unbend it! (pause) Look, I don't know how to fix it, either. Not right now! But you just have to look at it! All you have to do is look, and you can see how easy it is.
Sarah: If you don't know how to fix it, then why did you say that you can fix it?
Daniel: (silence)
Sarah: (silence)
Daniel: sigh.
Gracepoint Live - Elves
English Patient: Check
One of the brothers writes his roommates a check for the amount of:
"Three Hundred Thirsty Three."
English Patient: Communication
Submitted by Brother Chris Park
Brother Y: There was this yao man.....
Chris: Huh? Do you mean young man?
Brother Y: You know what I mint!
English Patient: Happy Birthday
Setting: Korean-American waitress I saw at Red Lobster who was forced to sing a birthday for a group of retired seniors. (She was fighting with another waitress about having to sing the song.)
Waitress: (with a bad attitude) Here's your cake. I will sing now. What's the birsday person's name?
Old Lady: His name is Hal.
Waitress: (sings with extremely low enthusiasm) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Hell.
Old Lady: Oh, that's Hal.
Waitress: Hell?
Old Lady: Hal.
Waitress: Hell.
Old Lady: (pause) That's okay.
Waitress: (sings) Happy birthday, dear Hell, happy birthday to you. (gives them plates in one pile and leaves)
Normal vs. Manny Kim
Pastor Manny is now the pastor who ministers to Longhorn students in Austin, Texas.
Moving Boxes
Setting : A Slack message goes out regarding moving boxes -- "For the smaller boxes, let's try to fit them into our trunks of car...
-
Friend: What was the name of that Asian girl from Harry Potter? Sister S: Chow Mein! Friend: Nevermind.
-
The predominant response of people who have seen this picture of Jasper wearing a bullfighter outfit has been, “Why, why why??” In response,...
-
This video is the compilation of the "best of" Richard Tjhen, who got married recently to Flo. This was shown during their wedding...