Real Puns

I'm no expert in puns.. But upon consultation with some older punsters, I have come to a rather shocking revelation. The older punsters have told me that what have been written so far in "pun with gracepoint" are not really puns at all. They said that real puns are supposed to make people laugh, not squirm. They said that puns are supposed to be clever, not simply sick. They told me, "These wannabe punsters think that they are saying puns, but technically, they are not. They are just taking random words that kind of sound like something else, and then saying them as if they are puns." For example, to say "That's otterly obvious" - that's not really a pun, because puns are supposed to have double meaning. They said that the same goes for all these comments, where people say things like, "I joust saw that." This revelation was shocking to me, because I had thought that puns were actually supposed to be sick instead of funny.

But it still wasn't very clear to me why those are not puns, so I asked a particular Brother D, who was among the original punsters who now has a shaved head, what a "real" pun is. And he gave me some.

- Did you hear about a guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

After hearing these real puns, I suddenly realized the truth... These puns that have been circulating in disgracepoint are not puns at all. Seeing the real thing made me recognize the counterfeit. No wonder they make you squirm.

Pastor Manny of Gracepoint Austin is one of the original punsters who wants to disassociate himself from these recent fake puns. He refuses to laugh at these fake puns... He refuses to even show any kind of emotion on his face when he hears these counterfeit puns. Because he knows what real puns are supposed to be like, he cries inside while everyone is laughing at the counterfeit.

However, Brother W told me how these fake puns all started. He told me that it all started when P. Manny once held up a napkin and said, "Hey, I'm going to take a nap with my kin." Amazingly, that one actually got some laughs along with the sneers, and Pastor Manny was seen gloating over how it made people squirm. However, Brother W distinctly remembers that that one joke opened the floodgates for all bad puns, giving courage to all the fake punsters. So perhaps it's only fitting that Pastor Manny now needs to suffer through the bad puns in Austin. But what I have a hard time accepting is why the rest of us have to suffer.

Perhaps it is not helpful for us to try to figure out the genesis of the puns that we have now. Perhaps we need to simply accept the fact that we are now in an era of fallenness, and go on from there... because the fact is that these fallen puns are the new reality of our day. Real puns are genuinely funnier, but for the same reason, they are a hundred times more rare. Is it better to laugh once than to squirm a hundred times? That's hard to say, so let us not silence the fake punsters. Let us live with our fallen states, because if anything, these bad puns will help us long for heaven more.