English Patient G: “Oh shocks, I forgot!”
Humor site for Gracepoint Berkeley Church and church plants at Davis, Austin, Minneapolis, San Diego, Riverside, Hsinchu, Los Angeles, Irvine, Santa Barbara, Seattle... Because we know that laughter is the best medicine, right after Chinese herbal medicine and acupuncture and Western medicine.
English Patient: Problematic Devotions
English Patient Sister Y: I really enjoy reading romance.
Friend: Umm, you have time for that?
English Patient Sister Y: Oh my gosh, what do you mean? You don’t have time to read the Bible?
Friend: (pause) Do you mean Romans?
Part of This: Pastor Ed Kang
Top 5 in Gracepoint
During a hangout time at NL, Brother E and Brother K bumped into each other…
Brother E: Hey! We haven’t played basketball in a long time, we need to play!
Brother K: Oh, sure! I’m down to play anytime!
E: You better watch out though. I’m ranking myself in the Top 5.
K: Oh?! Top 5?! What do you mean? Of your peer class?
E: No.. of this church!
K: Wow.. what do you mean? Like Top 5 at the point guard position?
E: No.. Top 5 in overall raw talent! I’m pretty much playing the best basketball of my life right now.
K: Oh wow…that’s quite a statement… what happens if someone plays you and beats you? Does that mean you’re not in the Top 5?
E: No… that just means he’s top 5 as well! If he can beat me, he deserves to be in the top 5!
K: (in disbelief) Wow, you must be really, really good.
About a month later, after morning prayer band at NL where most people left and just a few brothers hanging out in the foyer…
E: HEY, We need to settle this right now. I’m playing the best basketball of my life right now and I can’t waste my top 5 talent!
K: What? Right now? I don’t’ know if I’m ready…
E: Let’s go! I’m tired of you making excuses! We need to play one on one right now!
Brother E and Brother K played 1 on 1. After E shot the ball for takeout and missed, Brother E never regained possession of the ball as he fell quickly 7-0. It was a fast though agonizing game due to the lopsided score for Brother E, but Brother E could not accept his defeat. Convinced that the outcome was a fluke, E demanded to play a best of 3 series to prove his claim as “Top 5 of Gracepoint”.. In a lose-lose situation of not wanting to completely destroy Brother E’s self-esteem and also fearing the possibility of losing to E, K reluctantly agreed to play another game of 1 on 1. The game ended with the exact same score, 7-0, and not in the favor of Brother E.
K: Um… (Awkwardly) good game..
EC: Just letting you know, if I had beaten you, I wouldn’t tell anyone about it.
English Patient: Hawaiian Pidgin
Brother Rick: It's pidgin. I know how to speak it.
Sister L: Oh my gosh, really? With birds?
Joys of Teaching Meets English Patient: You're It.
While doing a writing conference with her students, she noticed that one student repeatedly used the word "It" in his essay about playing tag with his mom.
A paraphrased excerpt: "When I was playing tag with my mom, I was it."
Ms. L: Remember, how we talked about descriptive language?
Student: Uh-huh, yes.
Ms. L: So...what is "It" here? And here, and here?
Student: Ms. L, it's "it." You know? It's just "it."
Ms. L: Yes, you've used "it" a lot. What is "it"? From what you've written here, I don't understand what "it" is. Let's try to be more descriptive, ok?
Student: (confused)
Ms. L: What you've written is great so far, but I'd like you to go back to your desk and think a little bit more about what "it" is so that you can make your language more descriptive, ok?
Student: (still confused, returns to seat...)
Epilogue: A few weeks later, while on yard duty, Ms. L heard a bunch of students playing tag during recess. She finally understood what "it" is.
Demotivator Caption Contest
Please provide a caption for this picture taken at a Sunday Worship Service at Gracepoint Berkeley. Note: I heard that Sue, the wife/mother of the 3 brothers featured here, was the one who picked out the clothes for the men of the house that morning.
English Patient: Milkin’ It
Friend: “Gosh, thanks to disgracepoint, whatever you say gets used over and over again to make a lot of people laugh.”
English Patient G: “I know… They want to juice it for everything.”
Pun With Gracepoint: I have a hard time believing my eyes
John: Hey, what did y'all think of those longhorn cattle?
Judge: There were so few cows, it was unbullievable..
Note by the moderator of disgracepoint: I am not sure if Judge was ever into puns while he was in Berkeley.. From what I heard, I heard that Judge was never into puns in Berkeley.
I know that we were staying away from puns for a while, but I thought I should post this one, because this incident illustrates a different point.. the fact that the puns of Gracepoint Austin seems to have a contagious quality -- like the Plague.
Gracepoint Past: Joe Song
Joys of Teaching: Couple, Several, Few
Student 1: Ms. K, can you explain how few, several, and couple are different?
Ms. K: Sure. It's kind of tricky, but let's see. "Couple" has to do with two. "Few" and "Several" are usually more than two, but not too many. See what I mean by tricky?
Student 1: Oh, I get it. That's why when I go to Jack in the Box and order two drinks, the lady asks me, "Do you want a couple-der with that?"
China vs. Taiwan: Part 2
Sarah: Sister Y, I heard that you didn’t apply for US citizenship yet! Is it because you’re pro-Chinese?
Sister Y: No, it has nothing to do with that.
Sarah: Well, it’s true that China is going to be the next superpower.
Sister Y: But they will never take over the world.
Sarah: Why not?
Sister Y: Because they don’t have the power of God.
Sarah: But if they did have the power of God, then they will take over the world?
Sister Y: Yeah, that’s why we have to send more missionaries to China.
China vs. Taiwan: Part 1
Setting: At a2f’s last Yosemite trip, sister Y (mainland Chinese) and brother J (Taiwanese) were arguing about China vs. Taiwan.
Sister Y: Taiwan is just China. It’s a part of China.
Brother J: No, China is Taiwan. Taiwan is the real China.
Sister Y: What? Taiwan is just a part of China!
Brother J: Well, you guys in China got help from Russia, evil Stalin.
Sister Y: Oh yeah? You guys got help from the United States, those capitalists.
Everyone: [silence]
(By the way, this happened during our 4th of July outing)
Gracepoint Hsinchu Praise
p.s.: Phil is actually a very good guitar player. These instances are situations where something went horribly awry.. but I guess that is obvious.
Driving in Honduras
Excuses
Setting: A 4-year old child, J, was talking to her dad on Sunday afternoon about why she still had the money he gave her as her offering money.
Dad: How come you still have the money?
J: Because I didn’t give offering.
Dad: Why not?
J: Because… the offering bag was full.
Moving Boxes
Setting : A Slack message goes out regarding moving boxes -- "For the smaller boxes, let's try to fit them into our trunks of car...
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Friend: What was the name of that Asian girl from Harry Potter? Sister S: Chow Mein! Friend: Nevermind.
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The predominant response of people who have seen this picture of Jasper wearing a bullfighter outfit has been, “Why, why why??” In response,...
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This video is the compilation of the "best of" Richard Tjhen, who got married recently to Flo. This was shown during their wedding...