Texting Queen: Chickens or Ducks?

Another example of Sister S, our texting queen.

So.. after all that.. I am still left wondering... 

So are those Chick Kings or sucks?  I want to know.

Texting Patient: Rest Your Arms

Setting: There is a sister among us (whose identity has been thoroughly obscured) who is notorious for making spelling errors in texts.  She is said to make hilarious errors in about 30% of her texts.

Here's one - where my wife Sarah (who has pain in her arms) sent a text asking for prayers.

She meant "rest your arms", but I actually think that her solution of eating her arms would also resolve her arm pains.

English Patient: Self-Flagellation

Setting: Brother X talking about overly beating himself up...

X: Ah man.. I'm so self-flatulating.